First, Tory-san, then Kristie-san... You know, this looks like a lot of fun. Aw, hell. Ryo-kun wanted in on this, too, so what the hell? I just wanna try out my ranting skills. Ryoku: And my ability to tell someone to kiss off in more politically incorrect terms! Anou... yeah, I suppose so... *sweatdrops* Well, on with the show. >Review of Project Sailor Earth Tory: No, that's Project: Sailor Earth. Moshi: Sheesh! It's already starting out wrong! Ami: Calm yourself, Mo-chan. It has just started. Moshi: And that's what's freaking me out! Ryoku: Never would've thought that Moshi-chan was such a stickler for proper punctuation. But, that's just my opinion. >Disclaimer: These opinions are the opinions of SailorRiven (that >would be me, Willow), and if you have a problem with this review, >deal with it. Usagi: Ano. Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of it being a review? Rei: [eyebrow twitch] What kind of review is this?! Makoto: The kind you just have to deal with! Ryoku: *raises an eyebrow* Do we have to? *grins devilishly* Okay, then, Since she wants me to deal with it.... Makoto: Where're you going? Ryoku: *starts to leave with Ginzuishou held over his shoulder* To go... deal... with it. *evil grin* Makoto: Oh, no you don't! If we've gotta sit through this, you have to as well! Oniichan, front and center! Ryoku: *sighs* Che! Hai, hai.... Tory: Disclaimer: These opinions are the opinions of Tory (that would be me), and if you have a problem with this response. SHOVE IT! Girls: Ooooh! Ryoku: *applauds* Tory-san, you are a role model for fanfiction writers everywhere. I only hope that Jason-kun learns a thing or two from you. Jason: *flatly* Shove it, Ryo-kun. Ryoku: *grins* He's learning already! >No really, feel free to flame me, but don't think I actually care. Tory: Then this shouldn't bother you. Ryoku: Oi! What's her email address? I'll flame her for you! Jason: No, Ryo-kun. That's not ethical. Ryoku: Damn being ethical. I'll flame her so much that her computer'll melt from the heat! Jason: I said no. Now, shut your mouth and let the woman proceed in mercilessly destroying this person's validity and self-esteem. Ryoku: Oh.... *grins* Okay! >These are my opinions, I'm not trying to force them on anyone, they're >just my opinions. Ryoku: Oh, so we can totally ignore you, should we choose to do so, ne? So nice to know what your options are before you get insulted. To retaliate, or not to retaliate.... That is the question. Usagi: Whew! Thank goodness. For a second I was *really* starting to worry! Tory: Hey, these are my opinions too! >You don't have to have the same opinions, if you do that's cool, if >you don't that's cool too, but don't be flaming me. Actually, scratch >that: do flame me Jason: So, either way, it's cool. Or, is it that you just don't truly care? Maybe you can't make up your mind? *eyes widen in realization* Or maybe she has some sort of bipolar personality thing; you know, where she won't give a damn at one point, then suddenly turn around and go on a disgruntaled shooting rampage just 'cause she received one negative email too many? Run away! Run away! Rei: [grinning while holding henshin wand] Ryoku: *cheering* Go! Go! Go! Go! Others: REI-CHAN, NO! Rei: [grumbling under her breath.] Ryoku: *pats Rei on the shoulder* I understand. I really do. Maybe next time, ne? Rei: *brightens* Honto? Others: NO!!! Ryoku/Rei: Damn.... >if you feel so inclined, but I won't mind. By the way, I'm sorry if >it seems I'm being too harsh on this review. Ami: I can feel the love in the room. Jason: *sternly* Ryo-kun, get your hand off Ami-chan's.... Ryoku: *glares* Mind your own business! Jason: *opens his mouth* Ryoku: You dare say 'Hentai', and I'll grab my Ginzuishouken and do some major bodily harm to you. Ami: Actually, Jason-kun, I really didn't mind it. I hope you don't interrupt next time. Jason: *sweatdrops* Anou... carry on. Ryoku/Ami: Thank you. Jason: Let's just continue.... Makoto: That's just the heater kicking in. Rei: Or flaming death creeping up on Tory. Tory: Meep! Jason: Flaming death? What's that, a mixed drink? Ryoku: Don't be stupid, Jason-kun. >I really think this is an excellent fanfic, better than mine even >in some aspects. I'm just nitpicking about things that just... >were annoying. Jason: Was that intentional, Tory-san? Tory: (a la Duke nukem) Damn, I'm good! Jason: *blinks* Oh... okay. *slowly inches back a few steps* Minako: Ah, so it was better, but yet annoying. Rei: Anyone else confused yet? Senshi: HAI! Ryoku/Jason: *also raises their hands* HAI! Rei: Carry on! >Gomen. Okay, on to the review. Minako: Shouldn't that be slaughter? Ryoku: Depends on your definition of 'review'. But, that's semantics. Moshi: On to the bitch session is more better. Tory: I'll let you slide with that one, Mo-chan. Moshi: [big grin] Ryoku: Bitch session! *laughs* Good one, Moshi-chan! Jason: Shut up, Ryo-kun. >Site: Project: Sailor Earth Moshi: That's me! That's me! >Site's Creator: Tory Brown Tory: That's me! That's me! Jason: Like Senshi, like creator. Ryoku: KAMI-SAMA, I'M DOOMED!!! Jason: I am SO going to kill him later.... >Reviewer: Willow, in the form of Sailors Lilith and Solar Makoto: Schizophrenic!? Minako: Multiple personalities! [Everyone looks at Moshi] Moshi: Stop looking at me. Ryoku: Confused shapeshifter! [Everyone looks at Ryoku] Ryoku: *blinks* What? >Sailor Solar: *holding up a sign that says "applause"* Thank you, >thank you very much! > Hotaru: [outside of theater] I wasn't clapping. Were you, Michiru-mama? Michiru: [outside of theater] Hmm. No. Ryoku: AHA! Found it! *clapping stops* Here's the reason! *comes into room wheeling in an applause machine* Minako: This review of a review was taped in front of a live studio audience. >Sailor Lilith: Yoake-chan, we're supposed to do a review, not a >ticker-tape parade. > >Solar: Sorry. *puts down the sign* Now what was it that we were >supposed to do...oh YAH! Do a review! Rei: Even Usagi isn't this ditzy. Usagi: HEY! Tory: The humor segment, ladies and gents. [Crickets chirp] Ryoku: OI! *pokes Jason* Wake up! Jason: Eh? What happened? Ryoku: Tory-san just finished her humor segment. Jason: *yawns* Oh. >Lilith: Okay then, let's go. My first impressions of this page >were...ooh, an image map! Ami: Image map?! How long ago was *that* on the first page! Tory: When I was in school... last year. Jason: *blinks* Wait... I've never seen an image map. Ryo-kun? Ryoku: *shakes head* Nope. Haven't seen one, either. >And fast loading time too, which is a good thing considering Willow's >ancient modem. Tory: Now that I admit is what I try to do. Aim for quick loading! >Solar: And aforementioned image map actually works too, and there are >text links in case your browser doesn't support that kind of thing. >Nice picture of Moshi on the image map. Moshi: [batting eyelashes and smiling] Makoto: Oh quit it. Ryoku: But, she is sorta kawaii.... Ami: Ryo-kun! Jason: *smirks* I just hope Hoshi-kun didn't hear that. >Lilith: Although it's an edited pic, obviously one of Sailormoon. >I hate edited pics. Tory: So friggin what?! The person who did that pic for me took a lot of time out HER SCHEDULE to create that for me! Minako: Now breathe... Ryoku: *holds out a paper bag* This might help. Hyper-ventilation isn't a good thing, Tory-san. >And people, if you're going to do one of those >things, don't edit a pic of 'neechan. It's really obvious if you >do. Usagi: I have a sister?! WHERE?! [Looks around wildly] Moshi: [Tries to calm Usagi down] Makoto: What the hell? She's giving orders now?! Minako: First it's a review and now it's an order! Ryoku: How rude! And does she think that since she told you this, that you'll immediately hop to in order to placate her imperious demands? Jason: *chanting* Hell, no! She won't go! Hell, no! She won't go! >Solar: All very true. Okay, characters page time! Or maybe that's >character, singular. Ami: Watch us be amazed by the impressive English skills! All: oooohhhh. [Amazed looks] Ryoku: Someone's been watching their "Schoolhouse Rocks". Jason: *singing* Conjunction junction.... What's your function...? >Lilith: Yep, the character being Takanera Moshi, Sailor Earth. Moshi: Or Sailorearth, Seera Aasu...what have you. Ryoku: Details, details.... Ami: I thought I would be doing the nitpicking. Moshi: Well, the review isn't talking about you! Ryoku: *brings out a big, dusty book and opens it up for all to read* Artice 1247, Chapter 71 of the Punitive Code of Fanfiction Justice: Nitpicking. 'The party that is enduring the nitpicking, hereafter to be refered to as the Nitpicked, by the party that is implementing the nitpicking, hereafter to be refered to as the Nitpickers....' Others: *swirly eyes* Oi... Enough! Enough! Ami: *shakes head* Too much! >Lucky her, I wish I had a fanfiction all to myself. Moshi: ... Makoto: Say even one word and I'll strike you down! [Pulls out henshin wand] Moshi: Gomen! >Solar: Nice profile. Goes into detail about her character, although Rei: There's always an 'although!' Ryoku: Some people prefer to lift a target higher before shooting it down. They get some sort of twisted pleasure out of this I imagine. >the edited pic on this page is sloppily edited. Tory: Is this all you people focus on? Pics!? Jason: I'd never stoop so low as to base my entire impression of a FANFICTION web site just on their pics. Ryoku: That's 'cause you don't even have the talent to edit pics correctly. Jason: Hey! No need to let the world know!!! Ami: Some are visual and others well...they read. Ryoku: Which is a nice, politically correct way of saying that those kinds of people are a buncha illiterate boneheads. Ami: No, Ryo-kun... I don't think that that's exactly what I meant. Ryoku: Eh? Oh, well, then forget what I said. Rei: Ami-chan, I think your boyfriend has a few... issues. Ryoku: Nande? Rei-chan! >Lilith: Overall, a good profile. Next! > Tory: Gee, such a great review on the profile! Rei: That explained NOTHING. Makoto: Yeah, all they did was whine about the picture! Moshi: I wonder what part of the profile did they like?! Ryoku: Did they SAY anything about the profile? I think I missed it. Minako: It doesn't matter, they're just out to slay you. Moshi: I'm SICK of dying! Ryoku: *brings out Ginzuishou* No one's killing anyone unless they go through me! Usagi: *gently* Easy, Ryo-kun. No need to get all dramatic.... Kristie: This is obviously a nit-picking session, otherwise the good aspects of the profile would have been pointed out. What was good about it? The stats? Her history? The attacks and transformation? WHAT!? All we get, however, is a "Next!" **facefaults** Erika: Easy, Kre-chan. You're only commenting on comments, remember? Kristie: **huff** **growl** >Solar: The fanfic itself. It's a good fic, with a developed storyline Tory: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAR! Moshi: **sweatdrop** Rei: We're going to chain you to the floor if you keep this up. Ryoku: That outta be interesting to watch.... Tory: Meep! >and lots of twists in the plot and all. I liked the part where Moshi >thought she was Rei, and all that stuff happened. Jason: Stuff? What stuff? That ranks right up there with the word 'thing' for annoyance! 'Get the stuff. What stuff? You know... the thing! WHAT THING?!?!?!?!?' Kristie: "all that stuff happened." WHAT STUFF!?!? My comments from above stand. And, I'm not asking for a plot summary, but they/she could have pointed out a couple of specific things. Erika: Down girl... Minako: Hear that? Stuff happened. Never mind the fact that Moshi was prancing around dressed as Sailormars. Ryoku: Oh, yeah! I remember that! Poor Rei-chan; she was so pissed! *laughs* Moshi: Speaking of which, those heels were killers! How do you do that?! Rei: It takes skill. Ryoku: *sweatdrops* Others: Rei-chan kowai... Kristie: **grin** Oh yeah. I remember walking around in heels on my wedding day... augh. Never again. Karin: Thank you for not putting us in heeled boots. Kristie: No problem. I'd be too worried about twisted ankles, and with Trina and all... Trina: Huh? What about me? Karin: Nothing. Go back to daydreaming. Trina: I'm not daydreaming!! Kristie: Alright, shut up, let's continue. >Lilith: One thing that really really annoyed me, though, is the >constant use of Japanese. Ryoku: *raises an eyebrow* Sou ka? Koneko-chan no bakamo doushite desu ka? (Is that so? Why is that, foolish kitten?) Ami: Watakushitachi wa Nippon-jin desu! (We are Japanese) Tory: Ami-chan, don't start. Kristie: This is truly a "duh" moment for the reviewers. Karin and Erika: **giggle** >Solar: More like overuse. Why the heck is it necessary to say >"neko" instead of cat, or something like "I missed minna" when you >mean "I missed you all"? Tory: Hmm, to give it a Japanese feel, perhaps? Moshi: DAMMIT! Because I *FELT* like it! Ryoku: Which is, pretty much, the best reason for ANYTHING. You tell 'em, Moshi-chan! Ami: Mo-chan, the language. Moshi: Gomen nasai, Ami-chan. Others: TOO MUCH JAPANESE! *THWACK* Moshi: ITAI! Er..OUCHIE! Ryoku: *sweatdrops* Minna no bakayarou.... Others: STILL TOO MUCH JAPANESE! Ryoku: *holds up Ginzuishouken* You even think about thwacking me and I'll punish the lot of you! >Lilith: Yeah...*reads further into fic* Whoa. How about extreme >overuse? Tory: Whoa! How about extreme retardedness! Others: TORY! Tory: Okay, that was wrong...I'm sorry. Usagi: [mutters] not... Ryoku: Hai! Free speech, Tory-san! Say what comes to your mind! Jason: Ryo-kun is a huge, brown-nosing, butt-kissing, suck-up. Ryoku: I told Tory-san to speak her mind. Not you! Jason: Shove it, Ryo-kun. Ryoku: *grins at Tory* See, Tory-san? Your influence in action! >I'm Japanese and I can't even tell what they're talking about here! Rei: Anyone smell the odor of pants burning? Makoto: I'll say. Where's the air freshner?! Kristie: **cracks up** Trina: Why was that funny? Erika: Y'know, liar liar pants on fire? Trina: Oh. .... They didn't say that, though. Karin: Continue, please. Minako: You sure Rei-chan didn't have anything to do with it? Rei: [innocent expression] Ryoku: *innocently stands beside Rei, trying to hide the gasoline canister with his legs* >Solar: That's what the Japanese dictionary is for, Tsukiko-chan. >Although switching from the fic to the dictionary is difficult, you >have to go back, then forward, then back, then forward... *Solar gets >dizzy* Vertigo. Ryoku: Quick! Get the personal discomfort receptacle! Usagi: The... what? Ami: The barf bag. Usagi: Oh. *full realization hits* OH! Ewww.... Tory: Wow, this review is *old* All Japanese words have translations at the end of the chapter now! >Lilith: Okay, Solar... By the way, why do the characters shorten >each others'names to only one syllable? Like Mo-chan, and Moshi >calling Mamoru "Ru-chan"? Jason: Excuse me? Have you never heard of nicknames? Certainly you've had a nickname at least ONCE in your life, right? If you see someone calling me Jay, then would you think they were talking to a different person?!? Tory: [blinks in disbelief] Moshi: BECAUSE MY NICKNAME IS MO-CHAN! Minako: Not by this. Mo-chan and Moshi are two separate people!! Usagi: Kami-sama! Two Moshis?! EEP! All: AAAAHHHHHHH! Ryoku: Be afraid. Be very afraid. Makoto: Mosite isn't in this! Mosite: [outside of theater] And you won't catch me in it either! Tory: The great irony in this is; it's supposed to be the one syllable! Ami: Never mind, Tory. It went over their heads. Minako: [making noises of a Jet] Jason: Oh, sorry. They must be launching the F/A-18s off the catapult again. It gets real loud sometimes. All: *glance at Jason in confusion* Jason: Eh? Oh, sorry. I just had a 'Navy' moment. >Why the heck Moshi: --is this even called a review!? Wouldn't reasons to join the I-HATE-MOSHI club work better?! >does she call him Ru-chan? Tory: Oh forget it. I explained that already! >Even Usagi doesn't use that much familiarity with him! Usagi: Shows you she doesn't know THAT much. Others: USAGI! Ryoku: *does a Tendou Kasumi impression* Oh my.... Usagi: Hehehe. Gomen, gomen! >It makes you wonder the relationship between Moshi and Mamoru... Tory: No, it makes me wonder about your intelligence. Usagi: [SNAPS!] NANI?! Hoshi: [outside of theater] NNNNNAAANNNNIIII!!!???? O.O Mamoru: [outside of theater] o.O;; *THUD* Moshi: It's not like that! HENTAI! Ru-chan is my brother! Ryoku: If they continue along this line, then we're going in some Serious taboo territory here. Rei: Oh right, like Usagi would let some other girl move in with her boyfriend. And I'm the Queen of Dance. >Solar: And who the heck is Gi-chan? Chibiusa: [outside of theater] It's me, BAKA! Usagi: Chibiusa! Ryoku: *opens theather door and glances outside at her* What was that, kiddo? Chibiusa: [outside of theater] Hehehe, Gomen! >Oh, short for Usagi. Why couldn't they >just call her Usa-chan? Minako: Because, Miko calls her Gi-chan, not Usa-chan! Tory: AND IT WAS CHIBIUSA! Rei: It's useless. The joke is lost between those two. Ami: Don't worry, Tory. We understood! Makoto: The term, 'creative expression' gets lost somewhere too. Ryoku: Don't worry. There are other forms of expressing oneself. I could easily demonstrate to them with just one finger. Watch.... Jason: Do it and you die, Ryo-kun. Ryoku: Che! Kuso.... > And Mi-chan, for Miko? And don't you think it's ironic that Usagi: --People can be this stupid. Tory: USAGI!! Usagi: GOMEN! Ryoku: Usagi is showing a sharp side to her today. Interesting.... >they shortened Chibi-Moshi's name to Shi-chan? Shi: [outside of theater] Uh, excuse me. That's CHIBIMO! Moshi: Darn tootin! Tory: How the hell is that ironic?! Minako: It's better than having two Mo-chans running around! Ami: I think it was changed to Shi because Shi was taller than Moshi when she visited! Ryoku: Right. Kinda hard calling someone 'Chibi' when they're bigger, ne? >Lilith: Why's that ironic? Senshi: [looks at Tory] Tory: Coincidence! Jason: You don't think...? Ryoku: Couldn't be...? Ryoku/Jason: Mind readers! *Twilight Zone music* Minako: You are entering a dimension.... Makoto: A dimension of alternate timelines and magical girls.... Rei: The signpost up ahead, "Next stop:..." Usagi: "...5 kilometers ahead!" Others: *facefault* THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES! Usagi: *giggles* I know, but I couldn't help it. >Solar: She's the senshi of life, right? Shi means death. Shi: [outside of theater] When in the world did THAT happen?! Tory: Oh now that's just plain WRONG. Makoto: I think everyone knows Shi means death. Moshi: That and the number 4! Jason: Yon also means 4. Usagi: Tory even explained it in the story. Rei: Besides, Shi isn't the Senshi of life! Minako: True, she's the future Tuxedo Kamen! Ami: Yet another aspect lost with these two. Ryoku: *solemnly* A moment of silence, please, for the poor, lost souls who have lost their sense of reason, never to return to the light. *silence* All: How sad.... >Lilith: Ohh. Weird. Also, another thing I noticed is this: since >when do people spit blood clots out their mouth and nose if their arm >gets cut off? Jason: Hold it! People don't spit blood CLOTS, just blood. Blood clots are the result of blood coagulating on the inside of wounds, allowing the blood to stop flowing through the break in the skin. You don't cough those up; those form only where blood flows out. They are the under part of scabs, where the blood dries and hardens to protect the skin break underneath from infection. Ryoku: He just knows this 'cause his mother was studying to become a registered nurse. Moshi: If you'd got a Magic Tiara in the ribs and stomach, you'd spit blood too. Usagi: Heheh, Gomen about that. Moshi: No biggie. You did what you had to do. ALL: EH!? Kristie: That's not how I remember it happening... Erika: That's because it didn't happen that way, genius. Kristie: -_- >Solar: Eew. Yeah, you're right about that. The excessive spitting of >blood clots is almost as bad as the excessive Japanese. Rei: Right up there with the excessive stupidity. Others: REI! Rei: Oh shush. Moshi: Man, let me run my sword through you. See if you don't spit blood or not. Tory: Down, Moshi! Ryoku: *brings out Ginzuishouken* I'm with Moshi-chan! Where there is swordplay, I'll be there! Karin: Excessive blood clot spitting? Um, is it just me, or was there only one scene that really had that in it? Erika: No, you're right. >Lilith: And what's up with the Moshi/Hoshi dialogue on the phone? It >suddenly goes to some weird format with "Moshi: 'Hi.' Hoshi: 'Hi.'" >and stuff like that. Kristie: SO!? Have you ever listened in on a conversation between two teenagers!? That's about the extent of it!! If anything, it's a hell of a lot more accurate than some deep philosophical analysis of Moshi's hair bow!! And to top it off, another "weird format" comment!! AUGH!!! Karin: HEY!!! We gonna have to muzzle you, woman? Kristie: **sweatdrop** sorry... Tory: File corruption! I swear! When I FTP'd a large amount was lost! Rei: Shows you what happens when you let Usagi near your computer! Usagi: REI-CHAN! Ami: I'm still trying to get Tetris out of my Mercury computer! Usagi: [turns bright red] Ami: *turns to catch Ryoku tiptoeing away* Hold it, Ryo-chan! Don't think I haven't seen your name on the high score board, first place through ninth! I know you had a hand in this! Usagi: *sighs* We're busted, Ryo-kun. Ryoku: I never should've used my own name.... >Solar: Like a script almost, but if it was a script, it's not in the >right format. I don't know what was up there. Makoto: Now you're a script writer! I swear, these Senshi are so perfect! Minako: [doofy voice] I want to be like them when I power up! Heeyuh! Kristie: Don't EVEN get me going on formatting, kids. **brandishes MLA Guide** I majored - and HAVE a BA - in English - I think I'm more than qualified to rip people to shreds over their horrible formatting choices. The thing is, this formatting comment is coming from the same person who has a love affair with the